Warning: The following entry is likely to be petty and stupid.
However, if I don't get this out I'll explode.
When DH and I got together, he had a dog. I've never been much of a dog person, but this dog rules. He's the sweetest, most awesome dog I have ever been around and I love him to pieces. The dog was a purchase made by DH about six months before SD was born, so yes, he was purchased during the marriage to BM. When BM left after cheating on DH for a while, DH kept the dog and BM took her cat.
It's been six years since she's seen the dog. Six years since she asked about the dog. The one time we forgot to put the dog up and she came to door, the dog growled and snapped at her (he's overly protective of his home).
The dog is 13. His quality of life is declining and DH and I have been having serious discussions about putting the dog down. It's hard and painful for all of us but especially for DH and SD. But all dog lovers know, their good days almost make you forget their age and make those trips to the vet halt. DH and I have done our best to prepare the kids (mine and his two) for the day when the dog passes away.
The big discussion with the kids happened two weeks ago. Last night was the first night BM showed to get the kids before I got home for her visitation. As soon as BM pulled into the driveway, she texted my SD that she wanted to see the dog. SD tells DH. DH says no, it would be too hard on the dog. DH does his normal thing, opens the door just wide enough to let the kids out and closes the door, doesn't speak to BM.
I get home, DH tells me this and I got angry. I realize I'm being really stupid, but as far as I'm concerned, that dog is no longer her dog. I've been taking care of the dog throughout his elderly years, the dog sleeps at MY feet. It's MY dog. I don't claim the kids as my own, I'm fully aware that I didn't give birth to them. I live in the house that she and DH picked out together. I'll never get to have children with my DH. But dammit, that's MY DOG.
BM is a drama queen, like most of them. When Dh's grandmother died, she acted an ass. I tried to be understanding because they were together for 12 years. However, considering she cheated and left him for another man, DH's family wanted nothing to do with her. So I totally understand that she was around the dog for seven years. But she hasn't been around him for the past six. And I know damn well that when we decide the date we are putting the dog down and tell the kids (because they deserve to know), they'll tell BM and BM will have an emotional breakdown, call DH and demand that she be present at the vet and she be allowed to come into OUR house and grieve with the children. (Which evil SM over here will not allow to happen, no way in hell)
And I know my anger is not just because she's trying to drama over the dog. It's because there are still ties between them other than the kids. My MIL reminded me that there will come a day when there are no more ties other than the kids but it's just like pouring salt into a fresh wound. It sucks. She did this over the truck that DH had when I met him that apparently her grandfather sold DH. She did this when we put the house on the market the first time. She does it randomly over objects that she may see should the garage be open that she thinks are hers. And I know she'll continue to do it about the kids even after the graduate.
Sometimes I get really aggrivated at being second.
