I am so torn and irritated.
SD has five absences, 10 tardies. God only knows how many SS has.
Of the absences, only ONE, was because SD was actually sick.
I logged onto the school website today and see she's missed 1st period. Then at lunch, I log on again and there are absences for 1st through 5th period.
Guess who's not in school today....
God only knows the reason THIS time, but I swear to god if the BABY is the reason, and when she actually DID wake up she just didn't feel like taking them, I'm going to be tempted to choke a bitch.
I mean, what do we really do? WE are the address for the school, so even if we explain the situation to a truancy officer, and give them BM's addy, there's no guarantee that anything will actually come of it.
Should we take her to court, she'll probably play the poor pitiful me card, I live all the way across the city and I just had a new bbbbaaaaaby and I can't get the kids to school on time. Then the judge will switch them to HER schools because they buy her bullshit excuses.
Hell, sometimes I wonder if she's not doing this shit on PURPOSE so she can have an excuse in court to get them in her schools. I try not to give her too much credit but she's proven herself to be a giant manipulative bitch.
We are truly between a rock and a hard place...
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
What you can't control, you should let it go!
This is what I keep repeating to myself over and over again lately, ever since BM had her baby.
She did take SS out of daycare and is picking him up directly from school everyday. SD is riding the bus on our days only. It'll be interesting to see how many tardies they rack up this week though, since BM's mom took them to school last week on her days.
I have DH carrying his papers just in case, but there weren't any issues on our days about when he went to pick them up.
As it gets closer to Xmas though I wonder when and if she's going to try to hit us with schedule change conversation again. I thought we had made it fairly clear that we weren't interested in the end and I'm pretty sure SD has made it clear she's not interested in that either anymore but we'll see.
But that's not the point of this entry.
Last night, I had a nightmare that she called and wanted to change the schedule by like an hour or something. Seriously. And I blew up in the dream, was like raging in the background while DH was on the phone with her about how selfish she was and how we weren't doing anything to convienence her. THEN, I grabbed the phone from him and started raging at her directly.
Needless to say, it was not a pleasant dream.
But when I woke up (to the wind whipping around the eves of the house at 2:30 AM, brrrrr) it just reminded me that I'm letting her wind me up for no reason. I can't control ANYTHING she does. I'm working progessively to letting it all go.
Hopefully by the end of this run, with only seeing her briefly for like a drop off or pick up on one day for the next 11 weeks, it'll be better. Honestly, this ISN'T my fight anyway, it's DH's. I'm just the backup, to make sure she's not running him over.
I think her absence is going to do me some good.
She did take SS out of daycare and is picking him up directly from school everyday. SD is riding the bus on our days only. It'll be interesting to see how many tardies they rack up this week though, since BM's mom took them to school last week on her days.
I have DH carrying his papers just in case, but there weren't any issues on our days about when he went to pick them up.
As it gets closer to Xmas though I wonder when and if she's going to try to hit us with schedule change conversation again. I thought we had made it fairly clear that we weren't interested in the end and I'm pretty sure SD has made it clear she's not interested in that either anymore but we'll see.
But that's not the point of this entry.
Last night, I had a nightmare that she called and wanted to change the schedule by like an hour or something. Seriously. And I blew up in the dream, was like raging in the background while DH was on the phone with her about how selfish she was and how we weren't doing anything to convienence her. THEN, I grabbed the phone from him and started raging at her directly.
Needless to say, it was not a pleasant dream.
But when I woke up (to the wind whipping around the eves of the house at 2:30 AM, brrrrr) it just reminded me that I'm letting her wind me up for no reason. I can't control ANYTHING she does. I'm working progessively to letting it all go.
Hopefully by the end of this run, with only seeing her briefly for like a drop off or pick up on one day for the next 11 weeks, it'll be better. Honestly, this ISN'T my fight anyway, it's DH's. I'm just the backup, to make sure she's not running him over.
I think her absence is going to do me some good.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Let's all blame the SM!
I'm always looking for a reason if BM is being nice and cordial. I'm always thinking she's up to something. Just generic, given her behavior to us over the past few years.
But sometimes, I think SD goes and does shit on purpose to make her mother hate me. Yesterday, BM told SD that she was going to pick them up from school. I told SD that I put her clothes out from her Mom's and that she needed to either make sure she brought back what she wore over there or she needed to wear those clothes. She told me she was going to wear those clothes. I go to work, DH goes to work. All is good.
About a year ago, I was going through some of my clothes and getting rid of things. Well SD and BD went through the stack and picked out a few things. SD begged me for this ridiculously oversized Jager shirt from the Staind tour I went to several years ago. I gave it to her, and specifically told her that she could wear it as a nightshirt but she was NOT to wear it to school.
What does the kid do? She wore it to school yesterday. Of course, the SECOND she gets in her Mom's car, her Mom sends a text to DH "Why is SD wearing a Jager shirt???" and DH responds "I have no idea, when I left this morning she was still in her PJ's."
Guess who's getting blamed for that shit now? Yup..me. What the fuck ever dude, I mean, if it makes her feel so much better to make me out to be this giant bitch, more power to her, but still. SD isn't the type of kid that just forgets shit like that. She KNEW damn well that her mother would pitch a fit about the shirt. She KNEW damn well that her mother was picking her up from school. And I'm going to tell her as much this evening when I get home as well. And I'm going to make the comment that she may think I am stupid when it comes to this stuff, but I'm not. I try to stay out of the way as much as possible and if she's going to continue to make bad decisions, then she's going to continue to not be trusted.
But sometimes, I think SD goes and does shit on purpose to make her mother hate me. Yesterday, BM told SD that she was going to pick them up from school. I told SD that I put her clothes out from her Mom's and that she needed to either make sure she brought back what she wore over there or she needed to wear those clothes. She told me she was going to wear those clothes. I go to work, DH goes to work. All is good.
About a year ago, I was going through some of my clothes and getting rid of things. Well SD and BD went through the stack and picked out a few things. SD begged me for this ridiculously oversized Jager shirt from the Staind tour I went to several years ago. I gave it to her, and specifically told her that she could wear it as a nightshirt but she was NOT to wear it to school.
What does the kid do? She wore it to school yesterday. Of course, the SECOND she gets in her Mom's car, her Mom sends a text to DH "Why is SD wearing a Jager shirt???" and DH responds "I have no idea, when I left this morning she was still in her PJ's."
Guess who's getting blamed for that shit now? Yup..me. What the fuck ever dude, I mean, if it makes her feel so much better to make me out to be this giant bitch, more power to her, but still. SD isn't the type of kid that just forgets shit like that. She KNEW damn well that her mother would pitch a fit about the shirt. She KNEW damn well that her mother was picking her up from school. And I'm going to tell her as much this evening when I get home as well. And I'm going to make the comment that she may think I am stupid when it comes to this stuff, but I'm not. I try to stay out of the way as much as possible and if she's going to continue to make bad decisions, then she's going to continue to not be trusted.
Monday, December 3, 2012
The Unknown
Honestly, I hate being a worrier. Especially over stuff that really has no impact on me whatsoever. Stuff that I seriously cannot control and cannot change.
BM spawned last week.
We never know what to expect from her. She says one thing and then does something completely different. When SD started middle school, DH started picking up SS and BD and BM would just show up whenever she felt like it after work to pick them up on her days. That's been the norm for a year and half. When she was in school, she'd constantly dump them off on us because of some important thing she had to do for school, etc.
A few months ago, BM "advised" us that her tentative plan was to pick SS up directly from school everyday once she had her baby and that DH could pick him up from her house at 6 PM. That once she went back to work, the StepDad would pick him up from school and DH could pick him up from her house at 6 PM. Now of course, we reminded her (for the gazillionth time) that pickup is when he gets out of school, and even though DH is working, her attorney did talk the judge into changing HER summer pick-up time to 4 PM so DH should be able to pick up SS when he gets off work. As far as I know, SD would continue to ride the bus to our house on our days.
Immediately today I'm worried that she's going to try to pull something with the pickup time. Honestly, with the hustle and bustle, I don't even know if she's had time (though I figure to save $215 a month she probably did) to pull SS out of daycare yet. So there is a small chance that we'll have nothing to worry about this month at all. She didn't say anything once she was reminded but considering the amount of times we've HAD to remind her, there is no telling what she's got in her head.
Then on top of that, I feel bad that DH has to drive all the way over there to get SS. I know there is nothing we can do about her taking him out of daycare, considering that there is a parent available to care for him after school, it's understandable. A judge would think the same. My biggest continued worries are the baby is going to wake her up multiple times a night, leaving her missing her alarm in the morning and the kids are going to see a hefty increase in tardies. Then if she starts picking SS up from school, she is going to be busy with the baby, so SS is going to struggle with his homework and his grades are going to tank.
Then on top of that, there's a chance a million things could happen. It's sad that I hope that baby is a big hassle so she'll slack off and everything will go back to the way it is now, no matter how much joy it filled me with that I wouldn't even have to LOOK at her for twelve whole weeks. Hell, for all I know, this one might turn her mother gene back on and she'll actually step up and be a real parent.
I like knowing what's going on with my day to day. I like knowing what's going on with my husband's day to day. The same for the kids. I like knowing where they are, who's picking them up, dropping them off, etc. This is just such a pain.
My OCD is showing...*sigh*
BM spawned last week.
We never know what to expect from her. She says one thing and then does something completely different. When SD started middle school, DH started picking up SS and BD and BM would just show up whenever she felt like it after work to pick them up on her days. That's been the norm for a year and half. When she was in school, she'd constantly dump them off on us because of some important thing she had to do for school, etc.
A few months ago, BM "advised" us that her tentative plan was to pick SS up directly from school everyday once she had her baby and that DH could pick him up from her house at 6 PM. That once she went back to work, the StepDad would pick him up from school and DH could pick him up from her house at 6 PM. Now of course, we reminded her (for the gazillionth time) that pickup is when he gets out of school, and even though DH is working, her attorney did talk the judge into changing HER summer pick-up time to 4 PM so DH should be able to pick up SS when he gets off work. As far as I know, SD would continue to ride the bus to our house on our days.
Immediately today I'm worried that she's going to try to pull something with the pickup time. Honestly, with the hustle and bustle, I don't even know if she's had time (though I figure to save $215 a month she probably did) to pull SS out of daycare yet. So there is a small chance that we'll have nothing to worry about this month at all. She didn't say anything once she was reminded but considering the amount of times we've HAD to remind her, there is no telling what she's got in her head.
Then on top of that, I feel bad that DH has to drive all the way over there to get SS. I know there is nothing we can do about her taking him out of daycare, considering that there is a parent available to care for him after school, it's understandable. A judge would think the same. My biggest continued worries are the baby is going to wake her up multiple times a night, leaving her missing her alarm in the morning and the kids are going to see a hefty increase in tardies. Then if she starts picking SS up from school, she is going to be busy with the baby, so SS is going to struggle with his homework and his grades are going to tank.
Then on top of that, there's a chance a million things could happen. It's sad that I hope that baby is a big hassle so she'll slack off and everything will go back to the way it is now, no matter how much joy it filled me with that I wouldn't even have to LOOK at her for twelve whole weeks. Hell, for all I know, this one might turn her mother gene back on and she'll actually step up and be a real parent.
I like knowing what's going on with my day to day. I like knowing what's going on with my husband's day to day. The same for the kids. I like knowing where they are, who's picking them up, dropping them off, etc. This is just such a pain.
My OCD is showing...*sigh*
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