This issue has struck me really HARD today. On the anonymous forum that I post on sometimes (if the mood strikes me), I have noticed a trend of SM's who cannot let anything go that their adult stepkids do....usually I don't even bother with those posts because it's not my situation and while I AM an adult stepkid, I don't think about my step parent because she chooses to ignore me and that's fine. My father replaced my sister and I with her and her family and I wasn't the least bit upset about it.
Today, there was a blog posted where this SM was calling her stepdaughter cheap because she gave her father pictures from her wedding for Father's Day. I almost spit out my coffee because that's exactly what MY sister did for MY father for Father's Day. On a side note I had to go back and read this posters other's blogs because the details were ringing too many bells AND she listed her location as Louisiana, so I'm flipping thinking that it's my stepmother.
But suddenly I have this clear perspective. WHY do we continue to hold onto all this hate? The poster listed this kid as 28 (which is my sister's age) and has obviously been out of her house for quite some time, but the stepmother is still holding onto and complaining about stuff this kid does? Why? Why do you bother yourself with this crap? So WHAT is she behaved like an idiot at her own wedding? So WHAT if she decided that her mother could come at the last second? So WHAT if she "only" gave her father two framed pictures for Father's Day?
And it's not just locked into this one poster, it's locked into almost every SM I've seen post about their adult stepkids. They have to nitpick every single little thing these kids do. They don't call unless they want something. They don't come visit. They expect too much. I'm sure this is how my own stepmother sees me as well. I don't call, I don't visit. I really just don't care. My own father got a message on Facebook for Father's Day and that was it from me. I figured it was par for the course since that's all he did for me on my 30th birthday. Not a card, not even a phone call. And a gift? I haven't given my father a gift in over 10 years. I have a very very very big reason why my father and I aren't close. My stepmother doesn't know this reason and it's not something I plan to post about in this blog. Just suffice to say that if my stepmother knew, I think her opinion of my father would change rather rapidly.
I digress...
This crap is eating us up inside. We are turning into bitter old ladies because of all this gossipy nitpicking shit that we do. Be it over adult stepkids, young stepkids, or our stepkids BM's. I'm guilty of it as well. I obsess over what BM is doing, what's she's thinking, how she's behaving. And ALL it's getting me....is gray hair. That's it. I'll NEVER understand her reasoning because I'm NOT her. Me knowing she's getting married and having a baby doesn't change a god damn thing. It just makes me obsess more. Oh and don't even get me started on if she KNEW I was doing so, she'd probably preen like a peacock.
At the end of the day, all this hate, all this shit that we collect and hold inside, the ONLY person it hurts is us. I'm letting mine go. No, I'll never trust BM ever again, but it's pointless for me to continue to sit here and hate her and obsess about all the shit she's doing. She doesn't effect me. I don't want to turn into a bitter old hag whose miserable unless she has someone to bitch about. I don't want to make my husband miserable because I can't see past my BM hatred to be the woman he fell in love with.
So ladies, if you get a moment, take some deep breaths and let all this bullshit go. Let the hate go. It's not worth it anymore.
Just let it go....
