A friend of mine sent me a link to a webpage this weekend, as she loves to do. She let me know that when she saw it, she thought of me (and another mutual friend) and just had to send it over.
The website is http://wearestepfamilies.com/
Now I pre-warn you, that I haven't read most of the site (mostly due to this is the first opportunity I've had to absorb anything from the website and my work computer isn't really digging the format of the website apparently). In the step family forum, it's really hard to find blogs or websites designed by people that don't hate their stepkids or aren't harrowing in the horrors of their step families lives. While I know that what some people go through truly is terrible, it bothers me that's all that's out there in terms of literature. How NOT to get involved with someone with kids. How to know the signs when you should get out of a blended family relationship. My opinion has always and will always be that you should make sure your significant other has some balls to stand up for you before you get involved in a relationship with that person.
But that's not really what I wanted to talk about this morning...
The first article on the website when I viewed it was one about step-parents, written by a step-dad. Most of the time I skip over those articles because I fully believe that step-dad's have it a lot easier than most step-mom's. However, this article made a point that really stuck in my Monday morning, under-stimulated brain. "I am proud to NOT be my step-son's Dad because he loves me, not because he's told to, but because of what I do for him." I'm para-phrasing, but that's the gist of it.
And honestly, it make me stop, think, and suddenly feel really special.
My step-kids do love me. Not because they have been TOLD to love me, but because they do. Because my actions over the past five years have "earned" their love as it were. They aren't FORCED to love me because I gave birth to them, because I share half their genetic code. They love me because they WANT to love me. To me...that one little statement lights up my insides with happiness. Even if they get mad at me because I yell at them, or if they are being rotten little teenagers with their hormones a blaze, they still love me, because they want to.
And I love them...because I want to.
That's a really good feeling...
