It hurts...
I understand logically that SD and SS need their mother to be their mother. I get it. I really do.
What bothers me is that is has taken almost six years for BM to see that she wasn't being a parent, specifically to SD, and has requested "another chance".
I don't really believe that you should ever get to the point where you have to ask your own kid to give you a second chance to be a fucking parent....but that's beside the point.
DH and I have always supported SD in her hopes and dreams. SD wanted to do roller derby, we did all the research, determined that she could try out when she turned 13 and went about our business. Now the whole thing is okay because BM thinks it's a great idea. Which granted, I know that it makes OUR lives harder if we want SD to do something that BM doesn't approve of but it hurts. It specifically hurts DH. We have done everything we can to foster SD's dreams and BM hasn't. Now she's on board and it's like the world is shitting rainbows and glitter.
I can't give SD the motherly love she wants and needs. I know that. She knows that. She has a mother. It makes me sad that I have to sit there and watch this train wreck of a mother/daughter relationship and there's nothing that I can do or say to stop it from happening. When this new daughter is born, BM is going to be so consumed with this kid, that she's going to neglect SD again. SD's going to lash out and we are going to bear the brunt of her behavior because we always do. It's entirely unfair.
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